There has been talk before (and I’m surprised to not find an existing issue about it) of having different memory usage profiles. This could encompass defaults for:
-dbcache-par-maxsigcachesize-maxmempool-maxorphantx-maxconnections-maxreceivebuffer-maxsendbuffer
For desktop systems, autodetecting could be used to determine optimal settings. For servers, it could be specified on the command line. I have heard about interest in a means for specifying “Just use all the memory I have”.